Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Funny sms

We’ll we’ll we’ll, and if it isn’t the Autocorrect. 5 and 2 had an argument. 2 1 Fun fact Did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for a really, really long time? What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?  A depresso. I used to breed rabbits. Then I realized they can handle it themselves. Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife? Why are eggs not very much into jokes? Because they could crack up. What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer. I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The first thing the rascal did was made me pay in advance. Does your horse smoke? No. Well, then I think your stable is burning. What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard! “Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!” The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that ...
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Make Me Laugh

Fat Joke A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!” Dirty Joke Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time! Train Joke Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket. Girls Joke Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something. New Joke You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct. Funny Joke Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact. Waiter Joke “Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m...
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Good Jokes

Fridge Joke One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave. Kangaroo Joke A female kangaroo scratches her stomach for a while like mad and finally yells, “How often do I have to repeat myself, no cookies in bed!!!” Birth Joke Mummy, where where you when I was born? In the hospital. And daddy? At work. That’s great. So nobody was home when I arrived. Baby Joke Little Ernie asks his auntie, “Why do you have such a big tummy, aunt Lisa?” “Because there’s a baby inside.” “Do you like babies?” “Very much!” “Well I still think it isn’t right to eat them.“ Fish Joke Little Johnny walks into a pet store and asks the shop assistant: “Could you do me a big favor and throw me a fish please?” “Why on Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?!” “Because I want to tell everybody at home that I caught a fish. Jumping Joke Three bunnies want to jump a wall. First one jumps and...
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